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Growing a Romance - Growing Awareness

Growing a Romance - Growing Awareness  by  Daniel Raphael, Ph.D.

The last blog post talked about "Growing a Romance - Growing Together."  This post will discuss the growing awareness that each partner must have to grow as an individual within the romantic relationship.  Inherent in this is the necessity of a growing self-awareness within the relationship.  That is, it is very helpful when one or both partners become aware of growth within themselves.  This is a signal that the relationship is a dynamic field for a growing romantic relationship.  And this requires each to be flexible, tolerant, patient, and (yes) forgiving.

Signals that you are becoming self-aware may take the form of insightful and tentative conclusions, such as, "Huh, this relationship feels very different from my last relationships," and "I'm feeling that this relationship is a challenge, and that I need to 'step up to the bar' to meet my partner at his/her level," for example. 

For you who want to grow emotionally and spiritually, what is required is being in partnership with someone who makes you grow, to aspire a higher level of intimate, personal, social, and romantic interaction.  Taking on this challenge with a positive and constructive attitude will give you an advantage.   Being self-aware of your challenge to grow is the first step toward actually growing into a more mature individual.  Yet, self-awareness is not the end but the beginning.  You must actually make a conscious decision to grow into the challenge; and, then take action to fulfill that decision. 

In brief, the process looks like this:  you are in a relationship where you are challenged; you reflect on this and interpret it as a positive opportunity to grow; you choose to accept your need to grow; and, finally, take action to grow into this new development.  Since this may be new territory for you in a growing, romantic relationship, you might want to find some experienced resource to help coach or guide you toward success.  You don't need to reinvent the wheel of personal growth and growing a romance at the same time. 

Many people have been enjoyed the supportive, caring environment of a loving, romantic relationship to grow into a more emotionally, socially, and spiritually mature individual.  But, don't expect your more mature partner to have all the answers.  While you are growing, so is your partner with his or her own challenges of growth, balance, and remaining centered.  But, surely he or she will be a good source of sharing this wonderful new development with you.  Be patient and enjoy your journey of growing a romance.  Too many people rush love and miss the nuances that a slow growing romance can offer as ambience to your life.  //